Address:
M^r Peake
Vitriol Manufactory
Battersea near London
For M^rs Flinders

Stamped: PORTSMOUTH

                        Tuesday June 30 1801 Spithead

    I almost weep for pleasure, my dearest love, at read
ing thy two letters, which just now have reached me.
Thanks be to the wise director of all things, the glow
of returning ^ ^health will soon again crimson thy cheeks. Say
my dearest, dost thou feel universally the improvement
which thy head and strength do?
    Wouldst thou think that I should feel a dread
at thy going down to Partney? at the very thing
that I have been so anxious for? Yet I do. Thou
wilt be farther from me, and I can leƒs and leƒs bear
the idea of increasing our distance asunder. I would
ten hundred thousand times rather thou wast about
to travel down to me; and was it not so very ridi-
-culous, and so very uncertain I should really ask
thee to do it. My dear, dear love, thou art indeed
my better half. Can I live without thee and be
happy? Indeed I think at this moment it cannot
be. The philosophical calmneƒs which I imposed
upon thee, is fled from myself; and I am just
as awkward without thee, as one half of a pair
of sciƒsors without its fellow.

    Thou hadst a long letter to give me; pray, my
dearest, send it to me. There is nothing that thou
canst write that I shall not esteem a treasure.
    Attend closely, my love, to the wish expreƒsed
in my last concerning our correspondence. I can-
-not wait above two days for a letter, with any
tolerable patience. My exceƒsive love for thee will, I
fear, undermine me. I shall think of nothing else.
Indeed, I never loved thee till now that I have lost
thee, so I feel at this moment. What weak ani-
-mals we are, or at least I am. Until deprived of a
bleƒsing we are never truly sensible of its value.
    How kind is M^r Tyler to undertake the jour-
-ney for you without solicitation, or without having
^ ^been fully sensible of the great neceƒsity of it. My letter
written from Charing Croƒs will confirm him in
his intention. What an excellent and kind man
he is, I feel the combined affection of son and bro-
ther for him. Every thing that is kind, my dearest,
say to him on my behalf. Kiƒs him, and call him
your dear protector, and the kind friend of the man
you love. To see him again will add greatly

to my delight on returning from this voyage.
    I have always said that the nature of my situation
will take off from the distreƒs of absence; but I al-
-most begin to doubt it. Here is no one I can speak
to upon the subject. I have no sister, no mother,
no dear friend. I have a brother indeed, but the
nature of our respective situations almost debars
me from a close intimacy with him. I must sit
independent and impregnable; must acknowledge
no weakneƒs, no distreƒs, no fear. But when thy
    remembrance aƒsails me too powerfully
    and my eyes swell at the recollection,
I shall retire to the little bed, and vent my sorrow
to myself alone. After, on returning to society, I must
force a surly gloom into my countenance to for-
-bid all inquiry.
    I find a letter today from Thomas, dated on the 16^th
half of which is for you. He seems to think he shall be
in town shortly, and if you could remain a few days
would be glad to accompany you down.
    Write my love, write constantly. I have received
no orders yet, and am ^ ^as likely to remain longer, as
I was a fortnight back: yet, even today, my sailing
orders may have come down. I have no chance to avoid
severe recollection but by immersing into trouble and labour

I shall therefore court them.
    May the Almighty disposer of things cherish and keep
thee in my absence, and may we meet without any alloy
to the high delight that seems to await ^ ^us on that occasion.
Every body on board are well, and very anxious to sail.
I dread to say adieu; but it is only for one day.
God bleƒs thee
            thy most anxious and affectionate husband
                      Matt^w Flinders