from any obligation subsisting between us. I know that mine
to you are such that I can never sufficiently repay them, to
you; but surely, your liberality is too great to expect that my
mind is to be in a state of slavery on this account. The
course of nature points out, that the great load of obligation
for patern the endleƒs cares and troubles which a father takes
usually takes about his children, can only be repaid in toto
by those children performing the same kind offices to their
children ^ ^offspring in turn; and should it ever be my case, I trust
there will be no deficiency in this respect; but in the mean
time, my dear father, be aƒsured that whatever or whenever
it is in my power to contribute to your happineƒs ^ ^{in any way} I shall do
it, not as repaying a debt, but as the means whereby I shall
add to my own happineƒs by gratifying my filial affections,
for, oh my father, if there is a heart that warms with the
idea of affording aƒsi useful aƒsistance to his ^ ^parents father or fami
-ly, there is one in my bosom. If you think me selfish, as I
fear is somewhat the case, or devoid of gratitude, you do indeed
wrong me. [That I have not soothed you with the idea of
receiving pecuniary aƒsistance from me, should not I think
my dear father have caused the uneasineƒs ^ ^{sensations at this time} which it appears
to have done. I have, till lately, been in the habit of receiving
such aƒsistance from you; and it is but very lately that I
have not stood in need of it; and at this time my means
and (which indeed are temporary ones) are very little more than
^ are only adequate to my wants. Putting myself into your
situation, the opinion I should ^ ^form of offers of aƒsistance from a
sons whose power of affording it was so distant and precarious,
would be, that he had a design of lulling my caution asleep
in order to get something from me. This I think would be the
apparent motive for such offers, and I therefore withold them;
for I would much rather perform without promising, than promise
without being able to perform. I might however refer you to a
letter dated Nov. 28. 1800 "and I beg of you to believe, as my sincere
"sentiments, that I would much rather increase your income, and
"thus ease your labours, than add one day to them by receiving
"five shillings from you; and I hope the time will come, and
"before many years are over, that you will have better proof of
"the sincerity of what I say than words can be." Surely, my dear
father there is some meaning ^ ^expreƒsed in the above ^ ^sentence circumstance; and as
far as circumstances have gone, I think ^{you have no reason to doubt my} I have adhered strictly
^{intention of fulfilling it} to it.. Marriage is a period at which men usually look for paren-
tal aƒsistance; but have I either by word or deed insinuated even a