wish or expectation of the kind. On the contrary, did I not gave up
the loan ^ and that of £100 ^ also which you had been was kind enough to offer ^ reserve for me, im- -mediately that I saw a poƒsibility of doing without ^it; and previous to that would that aƒsistance of £200 immediately in favour of your aƒsisting my sister to fix in busineƒs, determining that
what remained after that was done, should content me. Many
thanks are due to you, my dear father, for such kind intentions
towards me, but surely the whole circumstances do not shew
that I am unmindful either of the family in general or of
your case in particular, as has been several times hinted or
directly expreƒsed in ^ ^{some of} your letters; but the strongest proof of this is
not perhaps taken into any account, which is the taking my bro-
-ther with me as an officer in the Investigator. By his being
promoted and appointed by my request, a considerable part
of the evils which what may arise from his inattention or inexperience
will be placed to my discredit. I have had one very unpleasant
instance of this already; and ^{was it not from} it is principally from the conse-
^ ^{inconveniency} -quences which would result to him and to you, and that
I know the uneasineƒs it would occasion you, ^{was he to be removed} that I do not
^{I could not agree to add this to my weight of responsibility} even now apply for another officer more experienced officer.
These are the principal reasons, but expectation of his improve-
ment has also some weight. You must no doubt be aware of
the great responsibility attached to my situation; and also
know that such a charge has ^ ^{seldom if ever} never yet been given to one of my
age. How neceƒsary then is it for me to have the good, experienced,
officers?
      I would not, my dearest father, talk of my own actions, but
that ^ ^{from some of your letters} I fear I have only a debtor side in your book. I fear you
It is inimical to your happineƒs to consider things and those relating to your children
consider the actions of your ^especially on the dark side only. Your
letters do always breathe affection, but they not unfrequently shew
this principal also, and seem to check my affection which would
constantly point towards you.
    I am particularly sorry, that you feel diƒsatisfied with
my marriage. Tis true I did not formally ask your consent to
it, but when the subject ^ ^{Miƒs Chappelle} had been previously talked of a subject ^{considered with this view in a}
of previous conversation you made not one objection to her.
From ^ ^seeing your letters, she feels as under your displeasure, which
adds to her ^ ^present uneasineƒs. The time of my marriage, you say my
dear father, is the worst part of it. It is certain I should not have
married but with the idea of taking her with me. Others had been
allowed this privilege, and I could not foresee that I should have
been denied it. Yet I am by no means sorry for having married. If
you knew her worth, you could not regret it. I am happy to add
here, that her health is so far improved at this time, that she will be